Learning how to say no can be a real challenge. You see saying no is like a muscle that needs to have regular exercise otherwise it becomes weak. And as your “saying no” muscle gets weaker, you end up doing more stuff you dislike and feeling like you never have time for yourself. Can you relate to that feeling? Explore how to say no and you’ll start to improve your overall happiness.

Why do I keep getting sucked into stuff I don’t like doing?

First off, don’t beat yourself up. Oftentimes people who have difficulty saying no are working against their natural instincts. For example, you may be a people pleaser and thoroughly enjoy being able to provide help to those who ask for it. The problem normally arises when too many people are asking for your help or you’re not being realistic about the amount of time you can offer to others.

However, one of the biggest reasons people have a hard time saying no is because they are not aware of their boundaries or in fact, have never created healthy boundaries.  But do not fear, setting boundaries is a lot easier than changing your natural instincts. People who are great at saying no understand their boundaries very well. They are confident when they have spare time, they know who they enjoy helping, and they have a good sense of when they are overcommitting.

So how do I learn to say no?

Let’s start by examining some basic boundaries that you can set for yourself and others around you. Remember, boundaries are personal decisions and only you can determine what will work best for your life.

4 basic boundaries you can establish with examples

• Time Boundaries – this can be as simple as letting people know when it is a good time to call or as detailed as setting up a schedule for work meetings
• Material Boundaries – letting your roommates know what is off-limits to share or creating your own office at home with a lock on the door
• Emotional Boundaries – verbalizing how someone can support you by listening and not offering judgments or suggestions of solutions
• Work Boundaries – having clear outlines of role expectations, duties, and responsibilities or deadlines
• Explore more healthy boundaries

4 ways to verbally say no

1. Thank you for asking, but no. Have you thought about asking (insert name), I think they would love to do it?
2. No, based on previous experiences this is not something I would like to do.
3. No, I currently have too much on my plate.
4. Although I really want to say yes, it is best for me to say no because I will not be able to give it 100%

Practice makes permanent

The more you exercise your muscle to say no the easier it will become with time to practice. Although, sometimes you may be met with confrontation, but again the more you understand your boundaries the more confident you will feel in your decisions to say no.

Since the onslaught of COVID-19, we have been asked repeatedly how to best create your home office and ideal workspace. You may very well be reading this post from your own desk at home right now. And, we want to help you get set up for success by sharing the idea of what having a minimalist desk is all about.

Minimalist Desk Examples:

A minimalist desk can look like this:

But a minimalist desk can also look like this:

Does this seem confusing? Don’t worry, many people often misunderstand that minimalism doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to own anything. But in fact, minimalism is about removing what is no longer important in your life to reveal what is truly important for you to function the way you love. Read more about defining minimalism. And if you would prefer, listen to Emilio’s audio version.

So in the first photo, you can see that Emilio’s desk is simple and fun, not a lot to his murphy-style minimalist desk. And in the second photo, there are a lot of items in and around the desk, but all of them are again necessary for creativity.

How do I create my own minimalist desk?

We’re glad you asked. By following the steps we’ve outlined below you can create your own minimalist desk in a matter of minutes or hours, depending on what activities you’re doing in your workspace. Meaning that if you’re a laptop user and coffee drinker your desk will be easier to create than the woodcarver who has hundreds of necessary tools.

4 Steps to a Minimalist Desk

1. Decide – you can do this in your mind or on paper, but create a list of activities that you are going to do while at your desk (this helps you understand what physical items you might need or how much clear space you require)

2. Eliminate – find the table, desk, or area that you are going to use as your minimalist desk and take everything off of that space. You are going to set these items aside and decide one-by-one what will go back (remember to use the list you just created if you get stuck on tough items)

3. Store – now’s the time to find the right homes for the items your keeping. Often times you will never need to buy products, you probably have what you need around the home, so get creative.

4. Keep Tidy – maintenance is the most neglected strategy for having a great workspace. Try integrating a daily tidy-up of 5 minutes either morning or evening that every item returns to its proper home and used mugs go back to the kitchen sink. 

By using the D.E.S.K. acronym you can create a workspace that works for you and the work you do. Your minimalist desk is waiting to be discovered and only you know what will work best. And remember that you can always change and pivot as your needs change with the times.

Working from home can be a real blessing when you feel inspired by the place that you camp out, so take some time and create your minimalist desk. Love minimalism, but your workspace is fine? Find more inspiration in our minimalist solutions post. We look forward to seeing what you create. Leave us a comment below and we’ll be sure to answer quickly.

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo – Full Review plus recommendations for better videos of the The Konmari Method

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo Netflix Trailer

You will either love or hate the Netflix production of “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”, where you get to see the Konmari method in action with 8 different families. This is the official trailer:

In every episode (under 45 min/each) you will get to see Marie Kondo demonstrating her Konmari method explained in her book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up“.

• Episode 1: Tidying with Toddlers
• Episode 2: Empty Nesters
• Episode 3: The Downsizers
• Episode 4: Sparking Joy After a Loss
• Episode 5: From Students to Improvements
• Episode 6: Breaking Free from a Mountain of Stuff
• Episode 7: Making Room for Baby
• Episode 8: When 2 (messes) Become One

After hearing and reading SO MUCH about this, we decided to watch all the episodes and take notes 🙂 We are always excited to explore resources and new ideas.

I (Emilio) did write a very in-depth article about her book, the Konmari method, and how it compares with the method that we follow. Read the full article here.

Anything that creates a reaction is good!

Since Marie Kondo´s book became a best-seller, she has sold over 6 million of books around the world in many different countries. This proves that tidying and getting organized is a worldwide interest.

We totally agree with this. Why? Because since we published our first online course “How to Declutter and Organize Any Space” back in 2016, we have had a consistent amount of students enrolling every week. Right now there are 3346 students enrolled in our courses from 113 countries! Clutter is a worldwide problem. If you have clutter, you are not alone.

Marie Kondo has done a wonderful job of bringing awareness to the industry of Professional Organizing.

Many people love the Konmari method, and many others don’t like some of her ways of doing things. We believe that anything that creates a reaction is worth exploring 🙂

If you are curious about the topic of this show, we strongly recommend that you watch the 8 episodes (available on Netflix). You will learn a LOT for sure. Most likely there will be things that you don’t agree with, but if you keep an open mind and only take the stuff and ideas that can help you, most people can benefit from it.

If you have no problem with clutter, you feel great in your home, and you don’t need someone else to tell you how you can tidy your stuff, maybe this show is not for you. But… if you are reading this far, I bet you that you are at least curious about this… am I right? 🙂

A professional organizers’ opinion 

I (Emilio) want to share with you what we (as professional organizers) think about these episodes, the main takeaways, and the things that we thought were missing.

This is just our opinion, and we recommend you to watch the show with an open mind.

The first episode was our least favorite. To be honest, we almost gave up on watching the rest of the episodes. We were disappointed with the episode because it didn’t show the main steps of the process (as defined in her book) and it skipped important parts like paperwork (one of the most time-consuming parts of the decluttering process).

We decided to watch all the episodes doesn’t matter how we felt, and it was a good idea. The show got better after every episode and after watching the 8 episodes, we were able to see how the Konmari method was implemented in different environments, with different family situations, and different life events that we can all face during our lives.

These are some notes we took while watching the episodes:

Episode 1: Tidying with Toddlers

• Introducing herself to the house. This is something that you will see in every episode. Marie has a ceremony where she takes a few minutes to introduce herself to the house by kneeling on the floor. Sometimes she does it alone and sometimes she invites others to join her. Some people may think that this is weird. I like to see it as a ceremony that helps her get ready for the session, set her intention, and get into the right mindset.

• Spark Joy. This is the most known from Marie’s method. When she asks this question, she just wants to make sure that the items you keep will be relevant for your life moving forward. She doesn’t want to force you to let go, she just wants to make sure that you question everything in your home. 

• Saying thank you to items before letting them go. This practice could be also seen as weird. From my perspective, she is just practicing gratitude. There are so many studies out there that prove how powerful practicing gratitude can be. So when doing this process of deciding, I think that being grateful can help you to feel better and more confident. I also think that it’s an opportunity for closure. Because many items trigger emotions, saying thank you is a way for you to give yourself the permission that you need to let that item go. It can also be an opportunity for you to understand why you are having difficulties, and become aware.

• Giving unwanted items a new life. Most of the episodes don’t really talk about how to deal with unwanted items. And a lot of times people say “throw that away”, or “garbage” when referring to things that are still in good condition. In a video that I have included below, you will see that she mentions the importance of selling and donating your unwanted items, and not disposing of things that are still usable.

Episode 2: Empty Nesters

• One of the things that we loved most from this episode was to see the husband’s transformation. At the beginning of the process, you could tell from his body language and attitude that he wasn’t interested in this process, that he was doing it only for his wife. Happy wife, happy life. But after a few sessions, it was pretty amazing to see how he changed, and how much he valued the process at the end. 

• I loved when Marie Kondo introduced herself to the house and the entire family knelt on the ground together.  Having the entire family closing their eyes and setting the intention together is very powerful!

• When facing the clothes pile, she had a LOT of work to do! From our experience, many people cannot find the time, strength, and focus to do such a big task on their own. We felt that Marie Kondo gave them a quick lesson, but then she left all the mess behind for her to tackle on her own. If it’s an emotional process, having help is very helpful.

Episode 3: The Downsizers

• We really liked this episode. It’s such a nice family of 4. Parents are very young and all the members are involved in the process of making the most of their new small apartment.

• Great to see how family dynamics can influence how everybody participates. In this case, all the organizing and household chores fell on the mom, because she was the only one who knew where everything was. It’s very liberating for her to be able to create systems that everybody understands and can participate in.

• This episode also shows how important it is to respect each other’s treasures.

Episode 4: Sparking Joy After a Loss 

• This episode starts with a clear definition of the “why” (why she is doing this process) and the lifestyle that she wants to live. This is such an important step that needs to happen before getting started with the tidying process. 

• It’s all about keeping what you love, not being forced to let go.

• She defined this process as therapeutic. When you are dealing with your belongings, you are also facing your life, your emotions, the decisions you made… physical items can trigger a lot of emotions, and you need the time, space, and support to cope with them.

• There were a couple of things that we did notice from this episode. She was having a hard time dealing with her husband’s clothes, and we sensed that she didn’t get enough emotional help. We also sensed her being ready to tackle her husband’s clothes, but she was “forced” to follow the order and do books instead of emotional items. In this case, we would have changed the order for sure.

Episode 5: From Students to Improvements

• We loved this couple so much! They were very sweet, loving, and supportive of each other.

• This episode also does a really good job of finding “why” they are doing this, and having them both on the same page.

• In this episode, you can see how much one person relates to clothes, and how much the other relates to books. Deciding what stays and what goes is more difficult with the things that you value most. This is why Marie insists on doing sentimental items last.

Episode 6: Breaking Free from a Mountain of Stuff 

• This episode shows how much tension can be created due to clutter and disorganization. Once family dynamics have formed and stayed for a long time, being able to find a way to change them can be very difficult. Having an external person acting as a mediator is essential to be able to move forward. That’s one of the biggest reasons why people hire professional organizers.

• It’s not magic! She was asking Marie to do her magic, and her response was that there is no magic, you need to be ready for change and you have to do the hard work.

• She is having a very hard time with her clothes. She doesn’t want to let go of clothes that don’t fit her. She is concerned that she will need to spend money in the future to replace them. That she may need them. This wasn’t addressed in the episode, but we sensed that she was “hoping” to fit in those clothes again. Most likely she was feeling a lot of pressure when going through her clothes because they were reminding her of her current size. If she can get back in shape, she may be able to fit again in them! In this case, we always recommend not to let them go, but not to keep them in the space that you use every day. Maybe storing them somewhere else, using labels, and dating them can be a good step. You can go back and revisit those clothes in the future and you will be aware of how much time has passed. This way, they are not taking important space in your closet.

• As we were watching the episode, especially when doing the garage, it was very clear to us that more communication between the couple was needed. There was too much tension, and there wasn’t a clear common vision. She was referring to “This place is going to get in shape”, but “in shape” can mean something very different to each of them.

• It’s so important to involve children in the process, especially when going through toys.

• This process is not about letting go of things. It’s about keeping only what sparks joy. It also mentions the importance of the balance between space and stuff. The end goal is to keep what you like and need and to make sure that you can have easy access to these things.

• This process has brought them closer together.  She says: “there is some mental space that has been cleared out during this process”. This shows the strong connection that exists between physical and mental clutter.

Episode 7: Making Room for Baby

• This episode shows great communication between the couple. They both define a very clear vision. Very inspiring!

• You are facing your past and all the emotions that you experienced while going through your belongings. That’s why this process can be so draining emotionally and mentally speaking.

• In this episode, we both felt that he wasn’t relating to the “spark joy” question. This moment is when he finds the old mailbox of the house. They have a new one, but he was keeping this one, and he was having a hard time deciding. When Marie asked him “does this spark joy” you could see that he wasn’t relating to the question. He then explained why this mailbox meant so much to him, then Marie asked him “Does this item belong in your life moving forward?”, and that was a way better question that he could understand, and finally permit himself to let it go because he has a new one that serves the purpose. This is a great example of how items can trigger past emotions, and how important, and therapeutic, it is allowing for some time and closure.

• Another great moment was when he faced all his shoes (over 160 pairs). We all knew that sneakers would be a very difficult and sentimental category to face. He admitted that he had over $10.000 in credit card debt. He admitted that most of those shoes were still brand new. He always admired Athletes so much. By buying sneakers he felt better. There is always a deep reason why we do what we do. When facing difficult items (like sneakers for him), we are facing a LOT of emotions that we need to deal with. You may need time and space. He wasn’t ready at the beginning to deal with them, but after doing the process in other areas of his house, he then felt more confident and strong to face his sneakers and all the emotions that came with them. Great job!

• By the end of the episode, they were both saying how this process made them stronger and how much more free time they now have! Bravo!

Episode 8: When 2 (messes) Become One

• This lovely couple is on the same page. They moved together into the same home and they want to start a new chapter of their lives together and organized.

• It’s very important to understand how you use your space now, what you like, and what you don’t like. This will help you understand what to improve and how.

• This episode shows the importance of creating your own space, especially when sharing a space with a person that organizes differently than you. They say: “Everything got a lot better when we designated our own spaces. It promoted our individuality.” “We gained a deeper respect for each other’s belongings”.

• Clothes are a very emotional category to one of them. When diving deeper into the feelings, we discover that she was very close to her grandmother, she loved clothes, and clothes remind her of her grandma. That’s why she is so attached to clothes.

• They defined this process as therapeutic. “It was therapeutic and allowed us to know each other better. It’s a lifestyle change!”

Something better than the Netflix Show

I have done a little research online and I found these 2 episodes that Marie Kondo did in New York City.

Honestly, I think that they did a way better job of showing the actual process. I find these videos more natural and real. They also do a way better job of explaining the different steps of the process.

Tidy Up with KonMari – Episode 1 in New York City with Gina Kruger (28 min)

Tidy Up with KonMari – Episode 2 in New York City with Emily Newhouse (28 min)

We all have different motivations in life, but we all need to have a home, a home that facilitates the lifestyle that we want to live. When our home is not serving us due to clutter, disorganization, chaos… this will impact our lives profoundly. 

Shows like this one are great tools to help you question what you have, why you have it, and how you can make your home better.

It’s great to see so many people motivated to watch these episodes, read her books, and comment about her method. Like any other resource, you will find good stuff and stuff that you don’t like. Take what you can use and let go of the rest 🙂

From our professional perspective, this is a great tool to use with any individual or family who may feel inspired to get started with the tidying process. It doesn’t matter how you get there, or what tools you use. What matters is that you reach your desired destination.

Please let us know what you think about this blog and let us know how your tidying process go.

And remember that we are here if you need help. 

P.S. Did you know that we created an 8 part mini-series called Judie’s Story? You will see us helping Judie declutter and organize her entire apartment. Then, we have included 4 bonus episodes where we dive into time management, personal finances, and the maintenance piece that comes after this process. You can watch the trailer below.

Judie’s Story

Watch for Free!  On our Academy  /   Watch on Youtube

As of the writing (and updating) of this blog I, Samantha Kristoferson, am celebrating my 10th year of alcohol-free living. I was 27 years old when I came to the realization that I had an addiction to alcohol. And I realized my addiction by accident.

I never knew I had an addiction. I found out by accident.

My good friend at the time was diagnosed with cervical cancer and she wanted to try a cleanse which she read could be helpful in her condition. It was called the Master Cleanse and it is an extreme form of riding your body of toxins. At the time I had never heard of it or of any cleanse for that matter. But my friend asked if I would do it with her so that she had support. I said yes. 

During the beginning of the cleanse I felt absolutely terrible, but after 3 days (there are 10 days of cleansing in total) I started to feel alive. I had energy, my sleep was deep, I would wake early without an alarm, my skin and hair looked and felt great, and I felt lighter. The feelings and thoughts of depression also disappeared during this time because I was feeling so great about myself and my body. By the end of the 10 days cleanse I felt better than I had in years.

After the cleanse…

After the cleanse my life went back to my “normal” routines. I skipped meals and when I ate, I chose bad foods, binge drank alcohol 5-7 times a week, and exercised sporadically. I was very aware that I was frequently depressed, but I never considered that my daily habits were in large part the reason for this. The cleanse woke me up.

Here are FIVE addiction challenges I faced and how I overcame them:

1. I couldn’t say “No” to a drink

I tried for several months to stop drinking cold turkey among my friends and family, but it never worked. The more I was offered a hospitable drink the harder it was for me to say “No” to the offer.

My Solution: It was extreme, but I actually moved to New Zealand. When I got off the plane I told everyone I met that I was allergic to alcohol, so no one ever offered me drinks. This was the largest contributing factor to my success with letting go of alcohol. More ways to turn down a drink.

2. I felt tempted in events with alcohol present.

Almost all the experiences I encountered while traveling and working included alcohol being present. Alcohol is so commonly entrenched in many cultures that I would go for dinner and wine would be served; I would watch a rugby match and there were always beers; I would go to a meet-up and everyone had a drink in hand.

My Solution: I would order a non-alcoholic drink, but ask for it in a wine glass. Oftentimes restaurants and bars will serve non-alcoholic drinks in large cups or less fancy options — I wanted to blend in and not stick out, so I would request a similar-looking drinking vessel. By having a drink in my hand I felt less tempted to drink alcohol and felt like I still belonged.

3. I gave in to my temptation and drank alcohol.

Breaking the habit of drinking alcohol was hard, it’s still hard. The problem with my addiction was that I LOVED alcohol. I just didn’t love the results that alcohol had on my physical and mental health… oh and my financial health. So I made a few bad choices on my road to recovery.

My Solution: I never stopped believing in myself. I had felt the benefits of giving up alcohol and I wanted those benefits more than drinking booze. Each time I gave in to the temptation of alcohol I reflected on why I did it and then tried to learn from that experience. Was I trying to impress someone? Did I do it because I felt bored? Did I miss the buzz from alcohol? Eventually, my willpower became stronger than my temptation and I found new ways to get the same results, but soberly.

4. I had more free time.

One of the shocking benefits that were challenging to deal with was how much extra time I had. I was now sleeping in less and having time in the mornings to do things. My evenings were no longer consumed with the hobby of drinking, so I had to find new forms of entertainment.

My Solution: I started journaling more and trying to discover what I liked and didn’t like. I had deeper conversations with strangers that I just met. I researched events in newspapers and online to fill the time that I used to spend going to a bar. I was basically forced down a path of self-discovery which helped me to feel more confident to be the person who I always dreamed of being. Here are some ideas of how to spend your time.

5. I didn’t know how to date.

All of my relationships (if you could even call them that) occurred when I was drunk. I’m not exaggerating this. In my entire 20’s I never had sex soberly and I didn’t know how to behave around someone I was interested in if there wasn’t alcohol involved.

My Solution: I had a very destructive and self-abusing past with men and when I started with sobriety I told myself that I came first. This attitude actually kept me pretty celibate for months, but during that time I realized who I was looking for in a partner and who I felt I deserved to be with. It wasn’t easy for me to become engaged in a relationship because I had so much learning to do. I’m grateful every day that I put myself first and demanded to do better because I eventually found that exact partner.

Setting the right expectation.

It’s taken me years to be able to share my story of recovery. The truth is that I am still learning every day about my addictive personality and how I make my choices. Maybe in years to come, I’ll be able to share how I have been able to battle my sugar addiction.

Addictions come in all shapes and sizes and so do their solutions. It will never be easy to let go of an addiction, but it starts with awareness and the belief that you can do it if you want to. I hope that by my sharing a difficult challenge from my past I have given you hope. If you want to read more about my story you can find a copy of a book I co-authored with my partner called A Recipe For An Extraordinary Life. Organization | Minimalism | Self Care. 

To be a member of Canada’s national association Professional Organizers in Canada (POC) there are a few requirements. Businesses or individuals must pass course requirements, uphold a code of ethics, and contribute member fees that contribute to continual professional development. Have you ever worked with a professional organizer? There are many benefits to getting organized with professional help.

KW Professional Organizers have been POC members since 2013

Early on in our business we always felt it was important to stay connected to our growing industry and learn from fellow professionals. Having been members since 2013 earned our business silver leaf status with the association. Also, Samantha previously volunteered for the national board and local chapter for 4 years while growing KWPO.

Our roots getting started

When we first started our business we called ourselves GK Improvements. “G” for Garcia. “K” for Kristoferson. “Improvements” because we knew we wanted to help people improve their lives through organization. We have transformed a lot since 2012, but our mission has not changed. We’re here to inspire and empower people who are ready for change through Organization, Minimalism, and Selfcare.

Now in light of Covid-19 and a big shift in online course enrollment, we offer online education to help fuel the movement towards simplicity. Our course offerings focus on divulging our experiences gained from being professional organizers since 2012.

How our POC membership helps our clients:

• Annual conference for continual education
• Contacts for assisting clients who move cross-country or even internationally
• Insurance
• Ending stigma towards hoarding tendencies and consumerism
• Safety & ethics for clients

A big thank you

As members of POC, we strive to contribute to our industry through volunteerism and upholding our code of ethics. We are grateful for the professional development opportunities and connections offered through POC. In fact, our local chapter of Grand River Ontario has played a significant role in our business formation and development. We are currently members of the Cyber Chapter. 

We would like to take this opportunity to thank POC and all its members across Canada for their support and leadership.

​