Happiness is a choice

It’s controversial to write a blog post with a strong stance about feelings. No person can tell you what or how to feel. Feelings are what we control and sometimes cannot control, but after four years of practicing gratitude, I do know that saying we have no influence on those feelings is a cop-out. Yes, it may be challenging for some to find their version of happiness, but opportunity does exist to foster this feeling. Happiness is a choice, but it’s not black and white.

Focus on what’s going right

Let’s be clear, you can choose to be happy and still feel depressed, have negative stuff happen, or lose hope. Life isn’t going to stop throwing us curve balls just because we’ve declared we only want to be happy. José González sings about the beauty and pain of life well in his song El Invento. So if you notice yourself slipping away from happiness take a step back and turn your focus to what is going right. If happiness is a choice it means you will have to put in the work to make it happen.

Where are you spending your time?

You can also reflect on how you spend the bulk of your time. Knowing how you spend your time will lend itself to discovering who, what, and where is positively and negatively contributing to your happiness. Take a look at your calendar or start tracking your mood on a daily basis. You can be mindful or actually write your results in a journal, on your computer, leave yourself voice notes on the phone, or have a friend keep you accountable with check-ins.

4 ways to make happiness a priority

1. Practice gratitude every day – be it affirmations, meditations, journaling, or conversation the more you integrate gratitude into your life
   
2. Know yourself – build a self care list, schedule time for happy moments, invest in learning about who you are. Have you tried finding your Hygge yet?
   
3. Limit the negative – keep your exposure to the news limited, avoid engaging in negative conversations, say “no”
   
4. Have more fun – maybe it’s getting a special treat for after dinner, reciprocating massages with your partner, completing a puzzle, or planning an online game meet-up; try to include fun at least once a day.
   

Happiness is a choice you might like

If you notice yourself reacting strongly to this post – either positively or negatively, sit and reflect on those feelings. I know myself personally was very opposed to the idea that I could influence my happiness. I’ve unpacked a lot of that in the last 10 years and am still learning. Be kind to yourself.