We all want the same things in life: Have fun, be creative, feel content, be genuine, and have a real meaning in our life. When we feel some or all of these things, we may say that we are happy.
This is what many call Self-Actualization (A person’s motivation to reach his/her own full potential).
Happiness means something completely different for every individual.
You are the only one who can define what happiness means to you.
The only way for you to be at peace with yourself, it’s to really look deep inside you and understand what your needs are.
We all have a uniqueness, something that we are really good at, something that we really enjoy doing, something that makes us feel great! We may have more than one. It’s like an instinct that you have. You know that you have to do this. But sometimes we may choose not to do it due to social/family pressure, society, limiting beliefs (I am not good enough, this is a stupid idea, what are others going to think about me, how am I going to pay my bills…).
This is not about being selfish, or about neglecting your responsibilities. This is about making sure that you are taking care of yourself. That you are feeling well and motivated. That you are following your own way. That you are nurturing your soul, being your best self, and that you are allowing the world to enjoy what you have to offer! YES, you are being selfish if you don’t share your uniqueness with the world, not the other way around.
Can you imagine:
- Mozart or Beethoven hiding in their house and never sharing their music?
- Or your favourite band/singer never sharing what they create just in case it wasn’t good enough?
- Imagine your favourite writer never publishing anything.
- Your favourite comedian deciding not to pursue a “stupid” career.
- Thomas Edison giving up after a few tries of inventing the light bulb (he tried over 1000 times!!)
And the list goes on and on.
I am sure you are thinking that that wouldn’t be fair! And it’s not! But it’s also not fair you not sharing what you have to offer. Isn’t it? And you don’t need to be famous, you already have a huge impact on your family, friends, and co-workers.
Imagine a world where everybody shares their best self. Wouldn’t it be an amazing place? Let’s create just that!
But… how do I find time and energy to do all this? This is a very good question and it’s very easy to struggle to find a good answer. Especially if your life is already busy with work, family and other commitments.
I can tell you one thing:
If you are feeling unmotivated.
If you have the feeling that you are not doing what you should be doing.
If you are not having fun.
If you are moody.
If you are suffering from mental health issues (anxiety, stress, depresion…)
Chances are that your needs are not being met. Hey! You are not alone! We are all on the same boat, trying our best.
If things are not going the way you would like, let’s try something different. It’s always a good time for a change 😊
This is great but… where do I get started? I will give you very practical steps that you can follow right away in a bit, but please keep reading this first.
I want to go back all the way to 1954 and share with you Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Abraham Harold Maslow was a phycologist who studied positive human qualities and the lives of exemplary people. He created the Hierarchy of Human Needs and expressed his theories in his book, Motivation, and Personality.
After writing our book “A Recipe for an Extraordinary Life”, I was trying to find a visual way to explain what we have learned after helping many individuals and families. We talk about the 7 ingredients that we all need to nurture in order to enjoy an extraordinary life (Body, Mind, Family, Social, Work, Stuff, Giving Back).
Of course, everybody will need a different amount of every ingredient, we all need to find our own recipe, and that’s what our book is all about, about helping you become aware, and sharing with you a method that you can follow to change your situation.
But there is a common theme here, you do need to take care of your basic needs first, before being able to move forward with the rest. There is like an order that you need to follow.
Body and Mind come always first! Yes, if you are not feeling well, if you are very tired and need to sleep, if you are stressed or suffering from anxiety, if you are starving because you neglected your meals, you won’t be able to take proper care of the other ingredients: you won’t have the energy to socialize, you may underperform at work, you will neglect taking care of your physical spaces, doing your groceries, cooking meals, and of course, you won’t find time or energy to have fun doing the activities that you love or to give back to your community.
After drawing a few sketches on my whiteboard trying to represent these concepts, Samantha told me that I should check out Abraham’s Harold Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And I loved it! This is why I want to share it with you. These are not new concepts, they have been around for a long time. But we need to make sure that we remember and practice them.
As you can see in Abraham’s pyramid, a person’s basic needs must be met before self-actualization can be achieved.
As you can see in the picture, there are many layers of basic needs, and each of us will need a different dose of each of these needs. Once we find our “recipe” to cover our needs on each layer, we can then start climbing up and working our way towards that self-actualization.
Awareness is the first step. You need to understand your current situation, how you are feeling, where are your time and energy going? Start looking at the physiological basic needs and reflect on how you are meeting them.
Breathing
Are you breathing well? Are you making sure that you are taking a few deep breaths every now and then? Breathing is so important and many times we forget the huge impact that breathing has on our overall physical and mental wellness.
Sleeping
Are you sleeping well? Sleeping is VERY important. If we don’t sleep well, we won’t have enough energy and our mental health and concentration will be affected.
Food and Water
Are you eating well? We are what we eat! If you are not eating well, if you are starving, you won’t have enough energy and your health can be seriously affected.
Are you drinking enough water? A LOT of sicknesses can be avoided just making sure that we drink enough water.
Shelter and clothing.
Shelter (the spaces we live and work in) has a huge impact on our overall mental health.
We need to have functional and inviting spaces where we feel well.
It’s important to make sure that your physical spaces are designed to facilitate the lifestyle that you want to live. If your passion is drawing, you need to make sure that you have a space dedicated to that. If you love reading, make sure you have a reading space.
Decluttering your spaces and creating systems to help you access the things you need and love is the first step for success. Learn more about clutter and how to deal with it here.
Once you are aware of your current situation, you can then start taking action in changing the things that are not working for you. Remember that you need to manage these basic physiological needs first, before moving up with the other ones.
Can you imagine trying to be inspired and creative when you are starving and having cramps in your stomach? Or when you are so tired that you can’t think straight? Or when you are having a big headache? Most likely it won’t work very well.
There are three amazing tools that you can use when going through this process: Organization, Minimalism, and Self Care.
Organization can help you declutter all the excess and create systems to help you be more productive, saving time and energy that you can then use towards other things. Learn more about organization here.
Minimalism is a great tool to help you reflect and make more intentional decisions to support the lifestyle that you want to live. Learn more about minimalism here.
Self care will help you manage your time and energy, making sure that your overall wellness is always balanced and that you are doing the activities that you need to do to feel well. Learn more about self-care here.
All these tools will help you design your own recipe to live an extraordinary life. We are so passionate about this topic that we wrote a book “A Recipe for an Extraordinary Life” where we share a practical step by step method to help you design the life you want to live. This is the method that we have used for many years to create the life that we are living in now.
I want to share a paragraph of Abraham H. Maslow’s book “Motivation and Personality”. It basically shows you that the best way to be at peace with yourself is to be true to your own nature and do what are supposed to do. You know the answer. And if you don’t, it will come to you at the right time. Make sure that you keep moving along and please, don’t be selfish!
In 2012, we decided to stop being selfish, and we started sharing our passion and helping people do what we love doing, helping you find your recipe. Since then, our lives have changed a LOT. It’s not always easy, but we know our path, and we know what we are supposed to do.
Sometimes we feel unmotivated, lost, paralyzed with too many ideas and not knowing which one is the right one. Some other times we ask ourselves: Is this the right thing to do? Uncertainty is part of life, and the only thing that we can do is do our best and keep moving forward. Answers will come.
Our goal is simple:
Help as many people as we can find their own recipe to live an extraordinary life.
Because we know that the more people sharing their uniqueness, the better the world would be.
We hope you found ideas and inspiration in this post. As always, thank you very much for reading. We really value your attention and time.
Please share any comments or questions you may have below.
